Why understanding the surrogacy process matters
When you first think about becoming a Surrogate, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder what the step-by-step process looks like, how long it takes, and whether you’ll have the support you need. The good news is that surrogacy follows a clear, structured path, and at every stage, you’ll be guided and supported so you never feel alone.
This guide will walk you through the step-by-step surrogate process, answer common questions, and give you a real sense of what to expect.
Step 1: The Application & Online Questionnaire – Taking the First Brave Step
The very first step in becoming a Surrogate is completing our online questionnaire. This quick form helps you learn more about the program and checks your eligibility. It usually takes just a few minutes and is the best way to start the process.
Some of the basic eligibility requirements and key considerations (covered in more detail in our “Am I Ready to Be a Surrogate?”(blog post) include:
- Being between 21 and 42 years old
- Having had at least one full-term, healthy pregnancy and delivery
- Living in a surrogacy-friendly state such as California, Nevada, or Oregon
- No major medical or mental health conditions
- A stable living situation with family or social support
In the U.S., around 75% of women who apply meet the initial eligibility criteria,
while others are guided toward different family-building advocacy roles instead.
FAQ: Do I qualify to be a Surrogate?
Eligibility can vary slightly by state and clinic, but the focus is always on your physical and mental health and ability to safely carry a pregnancy. Even if you’re unsure, starting with our quick and easy eligibility questionnaire is the best way to find out.
Step 2: Meeting the NewGen Team
Before screening begins, you’ll meet the NewGen Families team. What makes us unique is that our team is made up of women who have all been surrogates themselves. That means when you sit down with us, whether in person or virtually, you’re talking to people who truly understand the journey.
This is your chance to come with any questions on your mind, big or small. Many surrogates want to know about the emotional side as well as the practical details. Our team shares openly, drawing on their own journeys to give you a genuine picture of what it feels like before, during, and after pregnancy, and what those relationships with Intended Parents and families can be like along the way.
You’ll find that these conversations are as much about reassurance as they are about information. Our goal is to make sure you feel seen, heard, and supported from the very beginning.
Here are a few questions you might find yourself wanting to ask when you meet the team:
- What part of your own surrogacy journey really stood out or meant the most to you?
- How did your kids and family react when you told them, and how did you handle those conversations?
- What was your relationship with your Intended Parents like, and how did it change over time?
- Was there anything along the way that surprised you?
- What was it like to share the birth moment and see the joy on the Intended Parents’ faces?
- How does the compensation work, and what does the benefits package actually include?
Think of these as conversation starters. You might have totally different questions on your mind, and that’s perfect. This is your time to ask openly and honestly, and we’ll share from real experience.
Step 3: Screening & Medical Evaluation
Once your questionnaire and application are accepted, the next step is screening. This includes a full medical check-up, psychological evaluation, and lifestyle review. Far from being intimidating, this step is about making sure you are safe, supported, and prepared for the journey.
You’ll meet with medical professionals who will review your pregnancy history, current health, and readiness. You’ll also have a conversation with a psychologist or counsellor, ensuring that you feel emotionally prepared for the unique experience of carrying a baby for another family.
FAQ: Why is screening so important?
Screening protects both you and the Intended Parents. It ensures that your body is ready for pregnancy and that you have the support systems in place for a healthy, positive experience.
Step 4: Matching With Intended Parents
For many Surrogates, this is one of the most exciting parts of the process. Matching is about finding the right fit between you and the Intended Parents (IPs). It is not just about logistics, it is about personalities, values, and expectations.
At NewGen Families, you will work closely with your team to talk through what you are looking for in an Intended Parent or couple. This may include any requirements you have, and what you want your relationship to look like during pregnancy and after the baby is born. You will have the chance to review profiles of potential Intended Parents, and they will review yours. You will meet, often virtually at first, and decide whether it feels like the right connection.
Many Surrogates describe the first meeting as clicking with a family.
They often know right away when it feels right.
When thinking about your match, some considerations might include:
- Where the Intended Parents are from and whether there may be travel involved
- Language and cultural background, and whether any barriers could impact communication
- Whether they are a heterosexual couple, single parent, or same-sex couple
- Communication style, such as how often you want to talk and how involved you’d like them to be
- What type of relationship you would like to build throughout the pregnancy and afterward
FAQ: Do I get a say in who I match with?
Absolutely. This is your journey, and your comfort and beautiful experience as a Surrogate is our priority. At NewGen Families, our role is to facilitate and guide so that both you and the Intended Parents can enjoy a beautiful experience together, one that lasts well beyond your pregnancy journey.
Step 5: Legal Process & Contracts
Surrogacy is built on trust, but it’s also grounded in clear legal agreements. Every Surrogate has her own independent lawyer (provided at no cost to you) who will review the contract, explain your rights, and make sure you feel fully protected.
The legal agreement will outline compensation, expectations during pregnancy, and the responsibilities of both you and the Intended Parents.
FAQ: Do I need my own lawyer?
Yes. Having your own legal counsel ensures your interests are protected, and it gives you peace of mind before moving forward. This support is always provided at no cost to you.
Step 6: Medical Prep & Embryo Transfer
Once the legal process is complete, the medical journey begins. You’ll work with a fertility clinic to prepare your body for embryo transfer. This usually involves a short period of medications to align your cycle, followed by the transfer of a carefully created embryo.
Most Surrogates describe this stage as exciting and hopeful. The transfer itself is usually quick and painless, like a pap smear, and you will be supported by the clinic team every step of the way.
FAQ: Does embryo transfer hurt?
Not usually. You may feel mild discomfort, but most Surrogates describe it as simple and straightforward. The bigger emotions come from the anticipation of seeing if the transfer results in pregnancy.
Step 7: Pregnancy & Ongoing Support
This is the longest stage, and in many ways, the most rewarding. You’ll experience pregnancy as you have before, but with the unique joy of knowing you are helping another family grow.
During pregnancy, you’ll have regular check-ups, prenatal care, and ongoing support from your agency, clinic, and Intended Parents. Many Surrogates describe feeling deeply appreciated and cared for during this time.
Compensation is provided in instalments across the pregnancy, ensuring that you and your family are supported.
FAQ: How is being pregnant as a Surrogate different from your own pregnancy?
Physically, the pregnancy feels similar. Emotionally, it can be different because you’re carrying with purpose for someone else. Many Surrogates say this gives them a deep sense of meaning and fulfilment.
Step 8: Birth & After the Journey
The birth is the moment everything comes full circle. For many Surrogates, seeing the Intended Parents meet their baby for the first time is one of the most profound and emotional experiences of their lives.
After delivery, you’ll have time to recover, and the agency will continue to support you physically and emotionally. Compensation is finalised, and counselling or check ins are available to help you transition back to your everyday life.
FAQ: What happens after delivery?
Aftercare is an important part of the journey. You’ll have medical follow up, emotional support, and, in many cases, ongoing connection with the Intended Parents if both sides wish to continue the relationship.
Support at Every Stage
One of the most important things to remember is that you’re never doing this alone. At NewGen Families, our Surrogates are supported by medical professionals, counsellors, coordinators, and a Sisterhood of women who have been exactly where you are now.
From the very first application to life after delivery, you’ll be guided, supported, and celebrated.
If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to be a Surrogate, now you have the roadmap. The next step is simply starting the conversation.